Religion and God

I,m writing after a gap of so many days,problem was  to express  in hindi, finally settled on English,I'd,not know, is there any body  going to read my blog?No matter. I want to express ,what is in my mind, Now I,m 67,exit date is approaching,this type of thought are but natural,I,m Muslim by birth lived as Muslim for namesake  in my village and in my home no one was practising it seriously,  just twice in a year we use to remind ourselves as Muslim,Ramadan  and Bakr Eid  These events become memorable for life time, because we use to get Two pairs of New clothes,that too with waiting and waiting,our tailor  never finish its stitching  before last minute  to Eid Namaaz. Early in the morning all we so called Muslim villagers  gather at common place  of village, The scheduled Maang community use to blow the trumpet of Eid, It was their  so called BALUTAA  to play primitive orchestra  on every Eid, weddings . Then the procession  move playing  drums and trumpeting beegules, so colourful, whole atmosphere   use to get filled with joy,every body putting new clothing,enchanting  films song on  village orchestra, thus we  Get out of village to a  open place called Eidgaah, we all seat in row putting  our own chadder, then the one and only Maulvisaab, we use to call as Moliseeb, start Khutba,a   then the Namaaz, some of the people from  surrounding villege, whom don't have the facility, use to come running  for Eid Namaaz, Molisaab recites Namaaz in Arabic we use to do OOTHAK BAITHAK, as most, no  one knows the meaning of this kawayat  . As soon the ritual  finish Maang Orchestra  blow the trumpet beat the drums ,then ask their right to Eddy or balut  whatever  ,we return to home  Hugg all family member, eat Sheer karma,  so was I a Muslim
  Seriously took it when I, travelled to SaudiArabia for job at the age of 32, I reached at the Middle of Ramadan , that too at the heart of Islamic city MEDINA Al MUNAWWARA . There I saw every body was charged and electrified  with  fundamentally religious fever,It was so difficulte  to accommodate  myself in that atmosphere, I never learned  to read Quraan,not knowing to recite any verse, NEVER, had Fasting of Ramadan, now by circumstance, compelled  to  Fasting,as  non of foodvenders or hotels were open in day time.I was feeling so guilty,  I was odd in that homogenous  religeous society,

IT was  middle of may1984,very hot  summer may be above50c  never exeperienced   at  my native place 

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